The first shattering was realizing I was different
I was not made for frilly dresses and everything sweet
I could not be happy on the family trip out west
And you come to me as Muckaluck, half wolf, half dog.
We ran the banks of the lakes
We climbed up the mountain sides
I confided in you my crush on Eric
My fear of parents fighting
You were my friend
I went back to the midwest to continue growing up
You stayed out west to hunt the night
And when I felt alone and apart
I could hear you echoing my howling at the moon
The second shattering was at thirteen
Parents divorced, loosing my virginity
Trust shattered by rape
And you came to me as a Steven, silent with your guitar
You were hurting as much as I then
Walking into the house and grabbing my guitar
Playing out both our pain so we could share it
We never spoke, We never kissed
Yet you were my first true lover
You hit the roads with your walls of ice
I learned of my love for learning
And ever since then when I was low
A soft song on guitar is like your hug
The third shattering was at twenty-six
Grandpa died, my divorce
Mom taking her own life
And you came to me again as a Steven, dark and mysterious
You were my fantasy gypsy, letting me escape from life
Giving me back the drums that had Stilled in my blood
Reawakening my desire, letting me explore myself
Turning pain into learning, giving me back trust
Being there while I look inward
Someday you will fade from him
Or our paths may drift apart
But this time while you are in my life
Let me acknowledge you
And I will rest assured that when needed again you will come.
That when I howl you will be watching the same moon
When the soft guitar brings tears to my eyes you are with me
When the drums pound in my blood you are dancing with me